What if you're invited to one or more parties? If you don't care for parties, your inner brat will think up all sorts of cynical reasons why you shouldn't go. Even if you do enjoy parties, you inner brat may still interfere. For example, in midst of a busy gathering, you may feel slighted by people who haven't come over to greet you. Or you may be disappointed by people who said they would come to your party and then don't show up. Here, your inner brat could smolder with resentment, causing a major rift in your relationships.

Don't make this holiday a free-for-all for your inner brat. Crowds, parking spaces, out-of-stock items and even annoying people are only temporary inconveniences. And just because alcohol and calorie-laden foods are readily available, doesn't mean that your inner brat must have what it wants when it wants.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE

Think of rush of activities as an adventure rather than an ordeal. If it's raining or snowing when you must go shopping, all better for your challenge. Attitude really does make a difference.

Make it a point to do one random act of kindness each day. This will disarm your inner brat and put you in a better mood for hours.

When you attend social gatherings, don't dwell on yourself or on what people are thinking of you. Focus on others and find something interesting about them, even if it's only a novel tie that they're wearing. You will be less self-conscious, and your inner brat will fade into background.

If you're watching your weight in face of seasonal treats and beverages, remember you can probably have a few of these treats without doing major damage to your diet. In fact, it's better not to deprive yourself. A strictly deprived inner brat is more likely to resort to serious tactics to make you give in.

ACCEPT GIFTS GRACIOUSLY

If it's wrong size or color or if you really don't like it, tough. Try not to read too much into motives of person giving you gift. The quality of a relationship is not measured by cost or nature of a Christmas present.

--------------------------- Copyright Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. 2003. All rights reserved

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Beyond Words Publishing, 2001)

Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.

Yeah, I know. You're probably laughing or snickering right now. I can practically see that questioning look of disbelief on your face.

You may even think that you wouldn't be on either one. Just imagine that there's a guy at your door and he's going to put you in a limo right now and you have to pick one show or other to be a guest on or you'll be locked in your house for a month. (It's silly, but you get point, I want you to get into it).

There's a definite difference between Oprah guests and Jerry's guests. Oprah's guests radiate confidence and have taken responsibility for their lives and have created lemonade out of lemons. Jerry's guests radiate low self esteem and think they're victims of life. Even worse, they think they have a right to inflict their negative self-defeating attitude on others.

Oprah people know that they're on creative end of life. Jerry people choose to think they're on receiving end of life. And truth is that if that's what they beleive then thats what they get. It's an easy cop out to settle in life and a lot of folks do it.

It's important to keep a positive mental attitude nomatter what your life is like because nothing is more important than your thoughts. They determine how you'll experience next minute, hour, day, week, year, decade and century. Rid your life of people and circumstances that don't inspire and enliven you. Life's simply too short to put up distracting drama and complainers who never change anything.

We all throw around phrases about how life is too short, but we don't live that way. Take at least one action today to reaffirm that you're creating a life you love.

Fire a friend who drains your energy. Read from an autobiography of a person who inspires you. Turn off TV and write your goals and values. Take a walk in nature or with a friend who supports best in you. Write a note to someone who has impacted your life in a positive way to let them know you're grateful for having them in your life. Rub your dog's belly and watch a doggy smile of ecstasy come out to greet you.

You're building a powerful future. Study successful people and you'll notice they all surround themselves with other inspired and successful people. Your life is your show, choose to be an Oprah person and aviod Jerry people who show up in your life. Or better yet, treat Jerry people you meet like they are Oprah person buried inside them so we can all shine together.

Let your positive mental attitude infect everyone you meet and we'll all enjoy better lives.